


Pigs meeting pigs (and I don’t mean cops)

by King_Mars



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Family Dynamics, IDK how to tag this tbh, Self-Indulgent, Whatever happened with Sam ?? idk, autistic michael!, autistic ranboo, idk if their marriage is romantic in canon i’m saying platonic to be safe, platonic tubboo, uhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/King_Mars/pseuds/King_Mars
Summary: Snowchester stops feeling safe. Ranboo and Tubbo find somewhere else to live with Michael for a while.orButtonByte on here / @button_byte on twitter (check them out ^^) said autistic Michael and I fucking HAD TO, OKAY?
Relationships: ALL PLATONIC, No Romantic Relationship(s), Ranboo & Michael, Ranboo & Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Other(s), tubbo & michael
Comments: 13
Kudos: 484
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	Pigs meeting pigs (and I don’t mean cops)

**Author's Note:**

> Non-verbal autistic Michael rights, thank you.

“I’m calling Techno.”

“You are _not_ calling Techno.” Tubbo shut him down immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“He can help, he’ll protect Michael.”

“He’s crazy-he killed me, Ranboo-"

"I know that! I know that, bee, but he can help. He's never hurt me. He wouldn't hurt Michael." Ranboo pleaded with him. 

"How do you know that?"

"I-Michael's a child! Techno doesn't actually hurt kids!" 

" _I'M A KID!_ "

"He was being pressured-I'm calling Techno, Tubbs. I'm sorry. Apparently it isn't safe here, but it will be with Techno." Ranboo looked at his husband apologetically before pulling out his communicator, calling Techno. "They're both piglins anyway, it'll be good."

Techno answered the call with a simple, "Hullo."

"Heyyyy, Techno. So. I have a lot to explain. I need help."

Ranboo could faintly hear the sounds of Techno quickly standing up and moving about his house.

"Where are you? I'm coming."

"No no no-don't-you don't have to go anywhere, I'm okay." Ranboo rushed to clarify. He made a little face at Tubbo, a silent, 'see? he's a good dude.'

Tubbo rolled his eyes at that.

"So. What can I do you for." Techno questioned, voice monotone as per usual.

"I uh. Okay, this is a lot. Yknow how I pick people and not sides? It's my whole thing?"

"Pretty good philosophy to me."

"Yeah! Yeah, I think so too, so. Um. So I did that? I know you don't really-get along with Tubbo, but we are... Married." Ranboo paused, waiting for the retaliation.

"I don't see how this concerns me."

"Oh! Okay, yeah, uh-we have... a child?"

Techno actually reacted to that one. "Heh? How is that possible?"

"Adoption? Look, he was in the Nether and he looked scared and he was getting back into a corner by a hoglin and we couldn't just leave him there, we couldn't find his parents so we-" Ranboo startled rambling, explaining the adoption of Michael.

"And why are you telling me this? What do you need, money to raise the thing?"

"No, uh. Stuff happened in Snowchester, someone threatened him, it's not... safe. We were wondering-or, I guess I was, because Tubbo's still glaring at me-if we could stay there for a while. Foolish is building a place for us but we need somewhere safer until then."

Techno thought about it. Ranboo assumed that was a no.

"Coulda ya uh, build a place closer? I don't think your house is kid safe. And mine certainly isn't." 

Ranboo cheered quietly, sticking his tongue out at his husband.

"Yeah! Just a small one next to yours, like Phil's is, we can do that. Can even take it down when the mansion's built." 

"Fine. And this is just a human child?"

"No, it's actually a... zombie baby piglin? He's very cute, his name is Michael, he's quiet, he won't disturb you or Phil at all." Ranboo promised.

He couldn't see it, but Techno's face absolutely lit up at that.

"I haven't agreed to this." Tubbo butted in.

"Tubbo-Techno is good. I know you don't trust him. He never hurt me. He wouldn't have hurt you if he had a choice. He's-he's like a brother to me, Tubbs. Please. It's safer."

Tubbo hesitated. How could he trust Techno? He was a maniacal pig, a murderer that blew up Tubbo's home country- _twice!_ Trusting people only really brought pain, right?

But he trusted Ranboo. And Ranboo was pleading with him, promising that their son would be safe.

"Alright. I'll carry Michael, grab his stuff. You got big ole arms to hold it all."

Ranboo smiled. "Thank you. We'll head there now, Techno-thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll fill Phil in on the adopted baby piglin situation." Techno waved him off.

"Oh, Phil already knows about Michael."

"What? Hey, why'd Phil find out before-"

"Okaygottagobye!" Ranboo ended the call, partially because he didn't want to explain and partially because Tubbo had started piling stuff onto his arms. 

"If Michael gets hurt, I'm blaming you."

Ranboo didn’t respond, gathering things they might need. Maybe they would be able to go back and make a second trip, maybe not. Either way, he was gonna plan like they couldn’t.

Ranboo led Tubbo through the nether portal and to Techno’s home, a confused Michael in Tubbo’s arms. Michael just babbled and grunted, seeming happy to be outside.

“Ranboo! Mate, what happened, why’re you guys staying here?” Phil grinned as he let them into Techno’s house.

“I don’t know, Sam just-I don’t know. Sorry to intrude, you’re just... the only people i trust? I don’t know.”

“It’s no problem. You folks gonna build another place or just move into Ranboo’s?” Phil smiled at his grandson, who smiled very adorably in return.

“I-honestly I think we’re all exhausted, I might just baby-proof my house. I think we’re close enough there.” 

“You absolutely will not, I’ll be baby-proofing.” Tubbo interjected.

“Okay, well. You can do that and I’ll watch Michael in here, let me put this down.” Ranboo put down his ridiculously large bag next to the door, making grabby hands at his husband.

“Won’t take long.” Tubbo handed off Michael, and then walked out. 

“Cute kid.” Techno commented suddenly from his corner.

“Thanks! He’s a good kid. Around two, we think, he doesn’t know.” 

“Does he know how to talk? Piglins learn that a bit quicker than humans.” Phil pointed out.

“Uh-no, actually. We’re trying to figure out who might be able to help us with that. It might be something with him being a zombie.” 

“Wouldn’t worry about it. He seems well-behaved, everything gets worse the moment people learn to speak.” Techno added.

Ranboo chuckled. “Yeah! I mean he’s super smart too, he just won’t speak. We’re figuring out what the piglin grunts mean, slowly. He can walk too, this just-I don’t want him running into the side of a table or something in here.” 

“Can i hold ‘im?” Techno asked, much to Ranboo’s surprise. 

“Yeah, here-if he lets you, I mean, probably.” 

Techno stood up, taking Michael from Ranboo’s arms gently. Michael almost immediately started grabbing for Techno’s jewelry, making little grunts.

“He’s got good taste.” Techno decided. 

“He’s kind of sensitive to textures, so don’t be surprised if he starts freaking out about something on your cloak.”

Techno nodded at that. “Got it.” He sat down, holding Michael in his lap.

“What happened with Snowchester, mate?” Phil questioned.

“I don’t know. Sam just-wanted to come in, and we said no because Michael was having... some sort of breakdown, and we wanted to keep him safe, and Sam started threatening him? I don’t know. It was weird, we just didn’t feel safe there anymore.” 

“Doesn’t sound like Sam.”

“I didn’t think so either. Might have something to do with the egg. We won’t stay here long-Foolish needed something to do, I guess, because he’s building us a house. It’ll just take a while because it’s huge.”

“Ah, alright. You’re welcome to stay as long as you need, happy to have a kid around again. And Michael could probably use Techno’s piglin influence.” Phil gave a kind smile.

“Yeah-wait what’s he chewing on, what does he have?” Ranboo looked at Michael for one second, and immediately saw that the kid was chewing on something.

“One of my rings. He’s fine, it’s pure gold.” Techno answered.

“You’ve gone soft, mate, you’re already giving the kid your jewelry to chew on?” 

“Be quiet, old man. Piglin solidarity, we gotta have our gold.”

Michael nodded happily, the ring still in his mouth. 

“See-he knows what we’re saying, he just can’t talk. We’ve tried everything, there aren’t really any doctors around to look at him.” 

“He makes noise, so it’s probably a mental thing. Give it time, either he’ll figure it out or he won’t and you’ll have to figure out other ways to communicate.” Phil shrugged. “Just don’t be too hard on him.”

“Yeah, of course. If he doesn’t want to, he won’t have to. Apparently I-and I only know this because I wrote it down, but apparently I used to go mute occasionally. Just a mental thing I have, part of it was that I would just go non-verbal. I guess i just stopped doing it. I’m thinking it might be that?”

“What’s the mental thing?” 

“Autism! He’s also got a thing about texture, which kind of goes along with that, so. It would explain a bit. But again we don’t really have anyone that can diagnose that.” 

“Yeah, fair. He’s a smart kid, you guys will figure it out. Techno and I can help.”

Ranboo gave him a thankful smile. “Yeah.”

Tubbo had, apparently, finished baby-proofing the house, because he walked in and immediately looked to Techno. “I’m too tired to argue about this right now.”

“House ready?”

“Yeahhh. Come on. Sleepy time.” Tubbo took Michael from Techno. 

Ranboo smiled, grabbing their bag of stuff from Tubbo’s house. “Thanks again, for letting us stay.”

“Whatever. Go to sleep.” Techno told them. He acted like his heart wasn’t absolutely warmed from holding a kid of his own species.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna say that Ranboo not going non-verbal anymore isn’t a “growing out of autism” thing because THATS NOT A THING AND DOESN’T HAPPEN, i hc that his memory issues are due to trauma and that same trauma kinda forced him to... not do that. Whatever was happening, he couldn’t survive going non-verbal, so it was a combination of him forcing himself and survival instincts.  
> Not that he remembers any of that.  
> Just wanted to clarify that bc i’m neurodivergent and I super didn’t want that taken the wrong way.


End file.
